What waves are you riding?

I ask myself what I want because it helps me to stay true to who I am and what I believe in.

I ask myself what I want because it helps me to stay true to who I am and what I believe in.

And yet, of course, this changes. Is complex and nebulous. Riddled with doubts. Littered with feelings.

And yet, what would happen if we changed the imagery?

Photo by Cam Adams on Unsplash

I fell in love with you because you meant something to me.

I found joy in the way in which you changed me. In the way in which, with you, I felt different in me. You helped me to see myself differently, and you didn’t even realise it.

I’m not accustomed to being so honest.

This post isn’t ‘professional’. It isn’t about leadership, organisational culture, trauma or collaboration. It isn’t even about oneness and finding opportunities to better understand one another (although in the right light, I suppose that almost anything could be construed as such). It’s about what it means to lose and find yourself in the eyes of another; what it means to ground and come home to yourself; to bare your soul and to open.

All things that don’t come naturally to me-as-me.

All things that I’m good at talking about, and less good at experientially embodying.

I am learning what it means to let go of what I (thought I) wanted. What it means to trust. What it means to really, truly back yourself. What it means to let go. And it hurts. And that’s okay too.

I don’t profess to have all the answers but I know that (right now) this is what it means for me.

When I ask, “What waves are you riding?”, what I’m really asking is, “What’s making you feel vulnerable right now?”

Where are you coming undone? And how might we journey together?

We run away from what we’re afraid of, yet it is here that we learn our greatest lessons.

I am flawed, imperfect, 22. Human and resolute.

Riding the waves, just like you. Finding my way, just like you.

Breaking to rebuild myself. Rising from the ashes. Sitting with and breathing through.

This is what I need; this is what I needed.

It was always within me. It was never about you.

For a while, I just couldn’t see it. I wasn’t ready to face the truth.

But wherever we are is where we are meant to be, and this moment is a gift.

The present is always — always — one of beauty and majesty, when we let ourselves witness it.

#inthetrencheswithyou