What is your heart crying out for?

Talking about my own yearnings.

there is a space
where we can meet
and it feels safe to
just be

&

it is here
now

it is here

can you feel it?

Photo by Meriç Dağlı on Unsplash

I bought you flowers
& held your hand
& you made me feel like a real man.

my yearnings are
softer now.

I feel lonely without you.

or maybe just…
no. I don’t.

I want you.
but I don’t know you yet.

I want someone who
doesn’t [yet] exist
[to me].

isn’t that
wild?

I want someone who
can hold me
too.

I want someone who
can love me
too.

I’ve never been so
heartbroken over
someone I’ve
never known
but
I know you exist

&

I know you want me too.

there is nothing else to say
but to dissolve.

we feel the gaps
between the stories

&

we rise to meet them.
we rise to feel them.

I AM A POET.

I AM AN ARTIST.

I CLAIM IT.

I CLAIM MYSELF.

I am…
not lost.

I have never been lost.

I wanted
how I felt with you

I wanted
how I dared to dream

I wanted
my softness

I wanted
my heart

I wanted to
feel safe to be
just like this

(no cover-up)

&

I am.

I am allowing to let myself get lost in the yearning for a beloved.

and it is…
the wildest thing.

it is
the most painful thing.

it is
the most beautiful thing.

it feels like coming home to myself
in new ways.

I like allowing myself to write in lowercase.
the smallness. the safety. I like to play.
I can be I and also me. we can co-exist. we can be.
there is so much that I cannot explain.

or maybe…
I just don’t want to,
yet.

maybe I will never want to.
that’s okay too.

I’ve never been [this] safe to be sad before.

I’ve never been [this] safe to want what I want before.

I’ve never allowed myself to feel it in the way that I do.
in the way that I can.

I’ve never allowed myself to feel my pain like this.

just feel it, without resistance.
just feel it, without judging it.
just feel it, without running away from it.

and now, sharing it?

gutsy.

and now, sharing it without the stories?

revelatory.

I want so much.
I feel with such depth.
I love with such fire.

I want. I want.

there’s not much else to say beyond…
my heart was crying out for this, too.

my heart was crying out for the space to be
truthful.

I give her what she desires. I gave her what she desired.
I let her feel. I let myself be free.

I let myself want
without limits.

this is revolutionary.