This Is How To Love Yourself
From someone who didn’t always know how to.
From someone who didn’t always know how to.
1. Stop beating yourself up about things you can’t change.
Spoiler alert: it won’t change them. It will just drain you. Stop. Now.
2. Be radically accountable.
If you’re unhappy — why might that be the case?
If you’re struggling with something — what might you be able to do differently, to elicit different outcomes?
If there was a ‘point’ to what you’re experiencing — what (constructive) things would it be trying to teach you? About yourself. About life.
3. Be kind to yourself.
Work out what that means for you.
Explore what you need, and how to give that to yourself.
Be your own parent, lover and best friend.
4. Respect your boundaries.
Say no more.
Say no to everything that isn’t a FUCK YES.
Trust your gut instinct — and also explore it. Seek to understand it. Take the time to understand what it’s really trying to tell you.
5. Realise that this is your life, and that you have more power than you (ever) realised.
Own it.
Act on it.
Be proud of it.
Keep being brave.
6. Accept that disappointing others is a necessary side-effect of not disappointing (or betraying) yourself.
It’s worth it.
And don’t people disappoint you, too?
7. Accept that you will, at times, lapse into old habits or ways of thinking and being.
Rather than judge yourself when you do, simply notice it.
Come to terms with the fact that you cannot do everything all at once.
Use this as an opportunity to more deeply acquaint yourself with your patterns, fears and triggers.
And then decide what to do about them.
8. Rinse and repeat. Also, rest.
Respect the process. Progress is not always linear.
Everything feels a bit better after a good night’s sleep.
If it doesn’t feel even a little bit better, you need more.
We underestimate how emotionally and physically taxing the process of change and personal transformation can be.
9. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going.
Keep being honest.
It will get easier.
It does get easier.
And when it doesn’t feel like it’s getting easier, take a step back to recalibrate.
This is a marathon, not a sprint. You are in no rush. You are paving the way for the rest of your life right now.
The present — for all its pain, in all its joy — is a gift.
Love always.
#inthetrencheswithyou