There's no roadmap for this. And rightly so.

Unbound women free us all.

Photo by Brian Lawson on Unsplash

Are you scared of the erotic?

I want you to take a moment to breathe with me.

I am not here to convince you of anything.

You might be scared. And you also… might not be.

• The world is full of bad actors

• The world is also full of people who are afraid of power

Take your pick.

We all know that power isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

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FUCK YOU.

I think it’s time for me to admit I have a chip on my shoulder.

FUCK YOU.
I will not apologise for my language. I will not apologise for my expression. I will not make myself small. I will not prioritise your comfort over my Truth.

Because it isn’t just my Truth. It’s OUR truth.

What are you so scared of, huh?

Don’t you realise that your fear makes YOU small? And that it’s your responsibility to start fucking with it? Because otherwise it will fuck up your life in ways you pretend not to feel? Yet you’re the one who’s hurting?

Yes, I went there.

It’s time to get REAL.

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I am not scared of fucking things up anymore.

That probably makes me dangerous.

So be it. You can sit with that.
This is a newsletter called Erotic Capital, after all.

You have a right to be angry.

You have a right to be…

Whatever that means.

I have a right to be angry, too.

I am fucking enraged.

And it’s OK. I’m OK. You’re OK.

• I can hold this

• I can hold me

• I can hold you

I have a question for you, if you’re willing.

When was the last time you let yourself be held?
When was the last time you WERE held?

Have you ever been held? Do you know what that’s like?

When I’m held— when I really, really feel fucking held— I break down & cry.

It’s not about physicality, so much as a felt sense of…

I am safe, I am here, I can dissolve.

Have you ever experienced that?
Do you know what that’s like?

Another question.

I know I’m going at you now, but you don’t have to answer anything.

This is plausibly deniable even if you say something.

If we need to, we can create a memory that this never happened.

None of this will hold up in court, but that doesn’t matter.

It won’t get that far. It won’t come to that.

We have nothing to fight over.

• I am not asking you to make any promises to me

• I am not asking you to sign up for anything you don’t actually want to

More to the point: I can see through you. I won’t let you do that even if you try.

I can feel when your heart isn’t in it. And I don’t like it.

More to the point….

It doesn’t interest me.

• This is not role-play for me

• This is not make-believe

This is an experience of expansive, jailbreaking, mind-blowing intimacy.

And intimacy only works if we’re BOTH right here.

Fuck the way we’ve tied ourselves in knots. 

Fuck the way we’ve created definitions & ways of being that don’t serve any of us. 

Fuck the way we think we’re stuck. 

WE’RE NOT.

We’re just scared.

It’s OK to admit it.

I get scared too.

And I’m not afraid of my fear.

Photo by Paul Bulai on Unsplash

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I will not stand up here as a paragon of fearlessness.

I am not a manic fucking dream girl narrative… let alone YOURS.

I am not a comic book character.

I am my own.
I am Home.
And I have worked hard to come into my Own.
I have worked hard to be here.

I have worked hard to be comfortable in my own skin.

If you really knew me, you’d know how hard I’d worked to get here.
If you really knew me, you’d know how hard I’d worked to be here now.

Just to be here now.

To be fully present NOW.

And as these keys tap-tap…

I am.
I am.

And it feels good.

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Welcome to The Reclamation.

Yes, the grass is greener.

If you’re brave enough, join me.

Create this with me.
I can’t do it alone, even if I tried.

And I’m done with trying. Trying is dead to me.

I want you. I need you.

Come with me.