reflections on surrender

and the power of love

life loves fucking me.

by which I mean, life loves making love to me.
by which I mean, life loves me.

and, of course it does.

of course it does.

I love it too.

surrender

I have been going through an awakening.

another one.

one that has opened, stretched & transformed me.
one that is making & shaping me to its will.
one that is teaching me everything I need to know.

one that is teaching me how to be—and how to love—even more deeply & purely than ever before.

I am living in flow.
I am in flow with the Universe.
I am living & learning.
I am growing & rising.
I am beautifully becoming.
I am home.

sometimes (often) I look at my life, and I see it as a conduit for the Universe itself.

I see myself as a conduit for the power of non-resistance, and the love in non-resistance.

I watch myself grow & change at terrifying speed.
I watch myself amaze [even] me.

I watch myself learn & alchemise the lessons I am meant to, then let go of anything that is no longer serving me.

I watch myself perceive & experience every human being as my teacher.

I watch myself love, open & unfurl— mostly in that order.

what I wanted was to find my people, and I am finding them.
what I wanted was to be able to own my desires & speak my truth, and I am doing so.
what I wanted was to choose, commit to & trust myself more deeply & powerfully than ever before, and that is how I am living my life.

it feels different now. I am different now.

I have my heart on my sleeve.
I have dropped my guard.
I am not here to posture or pretend.
I am not here to “do” anything.
I am here to follow what’s alive & never go faster than I can feel.

and I am doing that. I am living that. I am finally, inexorably, giving myself permission.

and I feel unstoppable.

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my relationships are everything to me.

I say that over & over & over again, because it’s true.

I feel it over & over & over again, too.

I am so proud of myself.
I am in love with myself.
I am in love with who I am becoming.
I am so beautiful.

right people, right time, right action. pure love.

I watch myself process the magic & mystery in real time.
I watch myself “get it”. I watch myself surrender [even more] deeply to it.
I watch myself remember. I watch myself come home.

I leave the US in twenty-something days, and it doesn’t matter.

because my life is here. by which I mean—my life is everywhere, and I am free in a whole new way. and I am guided in a whole new way. and I am supported in a whole new way.

and I can rest.

I am a spiritual warrior.
I am an adventurer.
I am a teacher.
I am a student.
I am a lover.

I follow my heart.
I follow my aliveness.
I seize each & every day.

I listen. I learn. I love.
I surrender.

I am protected.
I am provided for.
I am wanted.

this is all I ever wanted.

thank you for everything.

I wouldn’t be me without you.