On the power of no.
I'm allowed to say no to anything that doesn't feel right for me. It feels liberating.
I'm learning, experientially, that I'm allowed to say no to anything that doesn't feel right for me & it feels liberating.
it's different when it's EMBODIED.
aka:
- when I feel grounded & legitimate in my right to say it
- when I’m not losing energy trying to justify myself
I've known that “no” is a full sentence for a long time, but I've rarely approached the act of saying no so bluntly--particularly with people I’m close to.
in practice,I’ve cared more about managing and/or placating their feelings [about me] than being in integrity with myself.
big idea #1:
saying “no” isn’t rude. it’s KIND.
it's kind because it's clear.
saying “no, I don't want to” (if that's the reason why you're saying no) is even better.
why?
it provides the OP with valuable insight into what you do & don't want to be available for.
saying “no, I don't want to” is a gateway to more authentic & intentional connection
now
- you know what you don't want
- they know what you don't want
- you know they know what you don't want
you're on the same page!
key point:
“no, I don't want to” creates space for an “and, I want to”
why?
it's now clear to ALL PARTIES that you don't want to do X.
so, the logical next question is:
“well, what DO you want?”
... at which point, your imaginations/s can kick into gear!
big idea #2:
you have to know what you don't want to be able to identify what you DO want
crucially, you have to know it in an INTEGRATED way
how to learn this:
- pay attention to your body
- find a way of putting it into words
(aka, making it legible for yourself)
FF being in integrity with myself
FF “no I don’t want to” creates space for “and I want to”
FF give yourself permission to believe what your body knows
This feels powerful to read. Hell yes to your no.