Power dynamics exist all the time.
This isn’t a bad thing… or a sign of inequality… or a sign of inequity… or a sign of injustice.
This is NATURE.
The structure of attention is what decides how the power dynamic goes.
![Twitter avatar for @rachelclif](https://substackcdn.com/image/twitter_name/w_96/rachelclif.jpg)
when your attention is IN, you're focused on your own experience (sub)
when your attention is OUT, you're focused on the other person’s experience (dom)
it feels 🤮 when one or both of you isn’t able to CLEANLY INHABIT these roles
![Twitter avatar for @rachelclif](https://substackcdn.com/image/twitter_name/w_96/rachelclif.jpg)
look at a battery:
++ doesn't work
-- doesn't work
+- does
but nothing was “wrong” before; the dynamic was just set up to fail
see also: m/f polarity & integration
(m = not synonymous with men; f = not synonymous with women)
![Twitter avatar for @rachelclif](https://substackcdn.com/image/twitter_name/w_96/rachelclif.jpg)
the best* conversations & interactions are DYNAMIC & involve some degree of turn-taking between these roles
the more effortless & RECIPROCAL, the better
(*it's more fun when it's easy)
ARE YOU ABUSING YOUR POWER?
The easiest way of abusing your power is to deny that it exists.
The second-easiest way is to hate and/or be ashamed of it.
Both are examples of what happens when power is shamed & shame is weaponised.
Because weaponising shame is the real threat to individual & collective harmony.
Not power.
Not shame.
Not sex.
Not religion.
And certainly not ‘differences of opinion’.
When we weaponise shame, we create a culture in which nothing & no one can be safe.
... THAT’S dangerous.
![Twitter avatar for @rachelclif](https://substackcdn.com/image/twitter_name/w_96/rachelclif.jpg)
the number one thing that's standing in our individual & collective way/s is not being able to speak openly, clearly & directly about sex & power.