on longing
sur le désir
when I fully own my longing, I dissolve into the ether
defenceless & resplendent at the same time
a siren call to the divine
and beauty— abundant beauty
when I admit that I want you, I allow myself to want me too
and what a gift that is
to be wanted, and to self-source that nourishment
as my own, full-circle, completing the circuit
receptive & regenerative
at the same time
my poetry is & has always been
a place where I come alive
a place where I can come alive
a place where I have the power to— for me
a place where I know (discover) my power
a place where I feel like (discover) me
I want you, and I don’t need you
and I want you
I really, really, really want you
and it sets me free
I didn’t let myself want you before
and in doing so, I didn’t let myself love you— not fully
I couldn’t see it, and I was always holding back
because I associated love with the loss of me, unconsciously
I thought I couldn’t love you without losing me, and I was right
but now I can, and now I do
I do, I do, I do
thank you
god is so fucking good
and so is [my] life