when I fully own my longing, I dissolve into the ether 
defenceless & resplendent at the same time 
a siren call to the divine 
and beauty— abundant beauty 
when I admit that I want you, I allow myself to want me too 
and what a gift that is
to be wanted, and to self-source that nourishment 
as my own, full-circle, completing the circuit 
receptive & regenerative 
at the same time 
my poetry is & has always been 
a place where I come alive
a place where I can come alive 
a place where I have the power to— for me 
a place where I know (discover) my power 
a place where I feel like (discover) me 
I want you, and I don’t need you 
and I want you 
I really, really, really want you 
and it sets me free
I didn’t let myself want you before 
and in doing so, I didn’t let myself love you— not fully
I couldn’t see it, and I was always holding back 
because I associated love with the loss of me, unconsciously
I thought I couldn’t love you without losing me, and I was right 
but now I can, and now I do 
I do, I do, I do
thank you 
god is so fucking good 
and so is [my] life 

