On Loneliness

Sometimes progress looks a lot like failure.

Two truths:

1. I am lonely and I crave connection.

2. Dating isn’t the right way of doing/getting that.

Photo by eberhard grossgasteiger on Unsplash

It’s the small things: a smile. A laugh. Touching someone’s hand. Touching someone’s heart.

We are all lonely. This is a pain that unifies us, ultimately. Or so it seems to me.

I am human and I crave connection.

I am human and I hate being vulnerable.

I am human and I am vulnerable.

I am human and until I accept everything I hate about myself, I cannot truly love.

I am human and although I know that I am not alone in this, sometimes I feel it.

I am human and I don’t want to share this.

I am human, and I am angry about it.

I am human and I fucking hate it, but I’m being honest with myself because it’s important. Because lying to myself doesn’t help me or, indeed, anyone. Because lying to myself doesn’t change anything. Because lying to myself keeps me stuck.

This may be the ache that never leaves but it doesn’t need to be devastating.

And I am lost and scared …