On keeping things simple, heartfelt & truthful.
And the power of pseudonymous love letters.
2/2/2023
today,
I'm going back to the drawing board.
I’m going back to writing pseudonymous letters.
it feels simple, heartfelt & truthful.
it feels like the best thing I can do for myself here, with you.
so, without further ado...
Person 1 (P1):
I think you're gorgeous.
as soon as I saw you, I was like...
“I like him.”
I wrote in my diary that I want to hang out with you again. & maybe even be friends with benefits.
I'm new to wanting--or being available for-- that kind of thing.
it feels fun, new, expansive.
I think I'm changing.
I like myself more now.
everything feels less weighted.
it's easier to see you-as-you.
P2:
you blow my heart wide open with who you are & the depth of your love for me. the truth of it. I come to you with all my fears & longings & you hold me in them. being loved by you feels easy. effortless, even.
I'm so fucking grateful to be able to call you a sister.
P3:
I love you even when our connection feels disjointed (which is often).
I love your commitment to repair.
I love your willingness to GO THERE.
I love how relentless you are (too).
I love how powerful we are together.
P4:
The OG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABE.
pretty sure you don't look at my twitter, but you get a special mention. of course.
I don't have favourites, but you're my fave. you're actually my fave. because I'm irrational like that. 😉
I love seeing you find your way.
reflections:
there’s something about writing in this way that feels so crisp & clean.
you have no idea what (& who) I'm talking about.
give me enough time & I might not either.
but that doesn’t matter.
what matters is how it feels.
what matters is how it touches us.
I used to say I wrote bc I wanted to make ppl feel something.
I was obsessed with making ppl feel.angry about it, even.
how dare we all be so heartless?
how dare we all be so disconnected?
“I’m going to stab you in the heart with my words. you are never going to forget me.”
now...
I write as a means of catharsis, self-expression & connection at the same time.
I write to bring us closer together.
I share to bring us home to love.
I write to unite my own disparate parts. I share to show I am [more than] “good enough”.
more letters...
P5: thank you for being there for me in the ways that you can be, and in ways that are--were-- wholly unexpected.
our relationship feels weird, tender & beautiful.
I’m grateful for the safe space you create for me, too.
When was the last time you wrote a love letter?
Tell me…