On intellectual honesty.

It's been a while since I've shared anything here.

29/7/2023

This post is an experiment in radical candour.

I want to write. I want to get this out.
I want to get back into the groove of writing here.
I want to get back into my groove of writing, full stop.

I want to create a groove of writing here that feels really fucking good for me.

I want to create something that feels cohesive & can stand the test of time.

And, with that in mind, I want to lay my heart on the line: I have no idea what you want from me.

And as soon as I say that, everything becomes clear.

I want—need—to lay my heart on the line.
I want—need—to tell you what I’m thinking & feeling.

Everything else will become clear.

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Fuck, this feels vulnerable.

The most honest thing I’ve said in public in a long time: I’m scared.

I. Am. Scared.

What am I scared of?

I’m scared of my vulnerability—no, my humanity—being misunderstood.

I’m not scared of it being used against me.
I’m scared of it hurting me in some way.

Being understood is important to me.
Being understood is something I want.

And, beyond that: I want my candid, truthful self-expression to be received positively.
Not negatively. Not neutrally.
Positively.

I want to be appreciated.
I want to be celebrated.
I want to be fucking ADORED.

I can own that I want that.

And… that is not something I can control.

This is the dance of visibility.

I don’t want to hide.

And… I want to do this properly.
I want to do myself justice.

I need to commit to myself here.

What do I want to be able to talk about without shame or fear?

I want to be able to talk about the fact that I’m scared.

Crucially, I want to be able to talk about the fact that I’m scared without that undermining my perceived or actual a) power, b) credibility or c) capabilities.

I want to be able to be the multi-dimensional human that I am, IN PUBLIC, without that getting in the way of me actualising my greatest dreams, power & potential.

I want to be able to be me & be it all.
I want to be able to be it all & have it all.

I am, I do, and I will.

It’s been one hell of a week.

---

What I’ve been up to:

I’m in the West Village, NYC until the end of August, working on something new— and much bigger than anything I’ve worked on before.

Here’s a teaser. Enquiries (and coffee/walking buddies) welcome!

I’m also excited to share this with you….

Sales page coming soon. Full thread here. Application here.

Onwards, upwards & THROUGH.