Let's speak about what's real & let it soften us.

When we make shame legible, it stops being a self-fulfilling prophecy.

RACHEL CLIFTON (being sexy is being powerful) ⚡️ @rachelclif

[theory] shame makes us illegible to ourselves by creating conditions in which: ❌ “there are things that we can't touch” ❌ “there are places we can't go”

Photo by Leighann Blackwood on Unsplash

RACHEL CLIFTON (being sexy is being powerful) ⚡️ @rachelclif

shame teaches us two things: 1. we are fundamentally unsafe “if you fully expressed yourself, bad things would happen” 2. not to ask why “I know better than you; this is just the way it is”

RACHEL CLIFTON (being sexy is being powerful) ⚡️ @rachelclif

shame also teaches us to defer to others’ opinions, experiences & judgements over our own. shame teaches us to negate & invalidate our own felt wisdom. shame teaches us that it is morally right & JUSTIFIABLE to hate and/or betray ourselves. ... then, shame blames us for it.

RACHEL CLIFTON (being sexy is being powerful) ⚡️ @rachelclif

shame is the ultimate abusive partner: ✔️ it torments us ✔️ it inhibits us ✔️ it limits us ... and it's faithful, loving & always by our side 💗

RACHEL CLIFTON (being sexy is being powerful) ⚡️ @rachelclif

shame’s unique selling point: when all is said & done, shame never threatens to leave us. we can never be good OR bad enough for it not to want to be with us. ✔️ shame loves us for who (for ALL) we are and... ❌ its love is conditional on us believing that we are bad

RACHEL CLIFTON (being sexy is being powerful) ⚡️ @rachelclif

shame’s dirty little secret: it doesn't threaten to leave us bc it knows it wouldn't stand a chance without us. ⚡️IT NEEDS US MORE THAN WE NEED IT⚡️ shame’s compulsion = to make us feel like we owe it something. without us, it isn't just inadequate; it's WORTHLESS.

RACHEL CLIFTON (being sexy is being powerful) ⚡️ @rachelclif

@DanyRaeArras I hear my name just before I remember it. then, I put down the sword of self-attack. I look at myself in the mirror & my eyes swim before me. I feel nothing but love. I see nothing but beauty. I have never had shame. shame had me.

RACHEL CLIFTON (being sexy is being powerful) ⚡️ @rachelclif

behind the veil: ✔️ like us, shame wants to have a purpose ✔️ like us, shame wants to find, cultivate & CREATE meaning ✔️ like us, shame yearns for love & affection ✔️ like us, shame yearns to be-- & is afraid of being-- fully seen

RACHEL CLIFTON (being sexy is being powerful) ⚡️ @rachelclif

when I feel shame, my inner child needs me. she needs love, warmth, kindness & tenderness. she needs to know that she is safe & worthy. she needs to know I’m not angry with or disappointed in her. she needs to know that I forgive her. she is crying out for my forgiveness.

RACHEL CLIFTON (being sexy is being powerful) ⚡️ @rachelclif

paradigm check: old: speak truth to power new: speaking truth is power two pillars: 💥 “I am powerful” 💥 “I have power”

RACHEL CLIFTON (being sexy is being powerful) ⚡️ @rachelclif

when you speak with rock-solid legitimacy, it hits different

RACHEL CLIFTON (being sexy is being powerful) ⚡️ @rachelclif

if there was nothing to be afraid of, nothing to be ashamed of & you couldn't get it wrong: what would you let yourself [claim* that you] want? *even if only just for yourself

RACHEL CLIFTON (being sexy is being powerful) ⚡️ @rachelclif

two truths: you aren't available to receive something you haven't allowed yourself to ✔️admit that you want ✔️OWN that you want without shame & self-attack the gorgeously PRACTICAL missing link: you aren't available to fully EXPERIENCE something you can't talk about

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