Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway?
Sometimes, I am afraid of my honesty.
Sometimes, I am afraid of my honesty.
I am afraid of what it might do. I am afraid of what it might mean. I am afraid of how people might react. I am afraid of what it might unleash.
Once you put something out into the world, you can’t take it back. At times, I have learned this the hard way.
I am the kind of person who tries her best not to repeat her mistakes, but I am also the kind of person who prides herself on her authenticity.
For better or worse, being ‘real’ is important to me.
(And yes, I appreciate the irony of putting the word ‘real’ in quotation marks. That’s a story for another day…)
And, in practice, being real is challenging. Being real requires you to acknowledge, validate and own the full spectrum of your emotional experiences. Rather than being focused on your interactions with others, being real is about being honest with yourself first and foremost.
Being real starts with tuning into your body rather than just your mind. It’s about observing and listening rather than reacting instinctively. Yet being real is also confrontational. It often involves asking yourself difficult questions, and may require you to sit with painful emotions. In short, it’s about accepting the truth of what is — in all its confusion, complexity and uncertainty.
It’s about accepting truth as truth amidst and despite the knowledge that said ‘truth’ is likely to fluctuate. Truth may be relative, subjective and highly contextual, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t ‘real’ — and it certainly doesn’t mean that it isn’t meaningful.
There is so much that you, I, we do not know.
There is so much that you, I, we will never know.
That’s life.
That’s just how it is.
This is what it means to be alive.
This is what it means to be human.
So, with that in mind, this is my truth.
Sometimes, I am afraid of my honesty.
Sometimes, I am afraid — full stop.
Sometimes, I hold back for fear of sharing too much.
Sometimes, I hold back for fear of being too much.
But what does this teach me? Nothing.
I am tired of being inhibited. I am tired of inhibiting myself.
But how can we ever overcome our fears if we don’t face them?
How can we ever accept ourselves if we don’t let ourselves be?
Hello. This is me.
Thank you for listening.