Deliberately un-indexed.

Otherwise known as ‘spitballing on the internet’ — because I think I’m too awkward for Twitter.

Otherwise known as ‘spitballing on the internet’ — because Twitter has a 140 character limit and is too public/intimidating. (I think I just fear that I’m too awkward.)

I’ve been trying to work out why I write here [on Medium]. Who these posts are for. Why I’m doing this, full stop.

I have other journals, other writings, other spaces to ‘be’ and express myself — why this? And why now?

I’m playing with vulnerability. With my edges. What I do and don’t feel comfortable with. And stretching it.

This is public, yes, and attached to my name, but (thank god) I’m not famous, whether on Medium or otherwise. It would be naive of me to say that “what I write here doesn’t matter” but, y’know, I’m a very little fish in a very big pond. It’s a big deal to me because of my discomfort *with* sharing myself openly and honestly — what this brings up for me, how this stokes my fears, shame and insecurities — rather than because of *what* I’m sharing. None of this is that controversial. #RealTalk: get out o…