Dear Diary: "I've never felt so connected with the feeling of betrayal while feeling so rock-solid in myself."
Underneath the rage is grief. What unites it all is love.
RACHEL CLIFTON (real power is embodied)⚡️@rachelclif
24/1/2023
today has been such a deep fucking day.
I've cried a lot.
I've WAILED.
there's been so much inside of me that needed to come out.
so much rage & so much GRIEF.
underneath the rage is grief.
what unites it all is love.
11:44 PM · Jan 24, 2023
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RACHEL CLIFTON (real power is embodied)⚡️@rachelclif
I feel myself gaining momentum now.
I feel myself gaining power now.
I watch myself become ever more discerning.
I watch myself see myself & the world with new eyes.
& it BREAKS MY HEART.
I feel so betrayed.
I've never felt so betrayed.
11:44 PM · Jan 24, 2023
2 Likes
RACHEL CLIFTON (real power is embodied)⚡️@rachelclif
correction: I’ve never felt so connected with the feeling of betrayal while being rock-solid in myself.
I am safe. I am grounded. the world is not going to fall out from underneath me. I am safe to feel.
and feel, I do.
11:44 PM · Jan 24, 2023
2 Likes
RACHEL CLIFTON (real power is embodied)⚡️@rachelclif
I feel like I'm drowning in betrayal. it's not my own. it's everyone’s.
it's the ways we betray ourselves to survive, at the expense of joy, pleasure & aliveness. at the expense of real connection & intimacy. because we don't believe that anything else is or could be possible.
11:44 PM · Jan 24, 2023
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RACHEL CLIFTON (real power is embodied)⚡️@rachelclif
I’m impatient. I'm pissed off. I'm (maybe, probably) arrogant.
“I’ve fucking done the work. I’m fucking doing the work. why can't everyone else just catch up?”
how I know that I'm changing:
that last paragraph reeks of self-entitlement... & I relish it.
11:44 PM · Jan 24, 2023
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RACHEL CLIFTON (real power is embodied)⚡️@rachelclif
can you imagine thinking, feeling & believing that you’re entitled to what you really want?
you earned it.
you deserve it.
no-holds-barred.
it's TRUE.
your only job is to dismantle anything & everything that gets in the way of you believing this.
11:45 PM · Jan 24, 2023
1 Like
RACHEL CLIFTON (real power is embodied)⚡️@rachelclif
if it was safe to desire, if it was GOOD to desire, if you were “saving the world” just by allowing yourself to OPEN YOUR MIND to [the existence of] your own genius, made flesh in & through the existence of your desires...
what would you let yourself want?
call me phoenix or die trying @womanrising
BELIEF SYSTEMS
What you believe to be true
Defines what you choose to
See, hear & listen to.
Choose wisely. Believe in magic.
- R L C
11:45 PM · Jan 24, 2023
2 Likes