Dear Diary: "I love being able to be spontaneous. Trauma robbed me of that."
I'm back. Perhaps for the first time.
RACHEL CLIFTON (real power is embodied)⚡️@rachelclif
28/1/2023
the last few days have shown me how much I love spontaneity.
I love being able to be spontaneous. meeting new people, doing new things. ADVENTURE.
trauma robs us of that.
actually, let me rephrase:
trauma robbed ME of that.
I'm BACK. perhaps for the first time.
1:35 PM · Jan 28, 2023
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RACHEL CLIFTON (real power is embodied)⚡️@rachelclif
this wasn't impulsive, self-destructive or escapist-- at least not in a negative sense.
it was getting out of myself & following my life force.
following what's alive & only going as fast as I can feel = how I experience my truest self.
it felt GOOD. I felt GROUNDED.
1:35 PM · Jan 28, 2023
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RACHEL CLIFTON (real power is embodied)⚡️@rachelclif
[later]
something that's sticking in my mind rn = the beauty & power of real connections.
by which I mean...
connections in which we can both/all BE & BRING OURSELVES, no matter what.
I'm touched by our ability to be human with one another.
it matters a lot.
1:59 AM · Jan 29, 2023
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RACHEL CLIFTON (real power is embodied)⚡️@rachelclif
what's coming up for me now:
1. I'm never doing anything alone again.
2. I never want to do anything alone again.
this is intentionally a little hyperbolic.
and...
I've always loved being part of a team. I’ve just wanted (needed) to find the right one.
now, I have.
1:59 AM · Jan 29, 2023
RACHEL CLIFTON (real power is embodied)⚡️@rachelclif
this is special. this is sacred.
this is love,joy,laughter.
I thank my lucky stars that we get to do this together.
I take nothing for granted.
I relish that we get to be human & messy & ugly together.
I relish that I don't have to be “perfect”,presentable or polished.
1:59 AM · Jan 29, 2023
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RACHEL CLIFTON (real power is embodied)⚡️@rachelclif
it feels so good not to think from a place of anxiety. it feels so good to put my brain to other (more interesting) things. it feels so good to be able to devote myself to my zones of genius. it feels so good to let myself be seen, heard, held & loved for who I am... too.
1:59 AM · Jan 29, 2023
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RACHEL CLIFTON (real power is embodied)⚡️@rachelclif
celebration of the day:
connecting with what I need(ed) & making a tender ask for support around it.
the OP responded quickly & said yes.
conclusion: vulnerability is a superpower.
I am love(d) & free(d).
1:59 AM · Jan 29, 2023
1 Like