All We Need Is Love (Sweet Love)*
All We Need Is Love (Sweet Love)*
Singalong Optional, But Highly Encouraged.
Singalong Optional, But Highly Encouraged.
I’ve been reflecting on my recent post about finding the courage to be yourself.
I want to acknowledge what a complex and personal topic it is for many if not all of us.
And I want to unpick it a little, as much as anyone ever can in a LinkedIn article, because it feels important to be real about the struggles we face, too.
Things may be ‘simple’ at some level, but they don’t necessarily seem or feel that way. And in my opinion, that’s as meaningful, if not more so.
After all, the only way out is through.
I want to talk more about how and why we come to be afraid of being ourselves — assuming, of course, that we have some conception (however tentative, variable and exploratory) of what that might mean.
At an overarching level, we all have a story. Multiple stories, even. And the story/ies that we tell ourselves matter.
Who do you think you are?
What do you, at your core, believe yourself to be?
I suspect that we have all, at times in our lives, experienced various degrees of rejection by others. And what I’m wondering is whether the struggle we face in adulthood to express our authentic selves and needs often stems directly from a much younger place — a place of lived experience and fear.
These resistances, these blocks, do not come from nowhere.
If we were not only *told* as children that whoever we were and whatever we did, we were loved and loveable, but sincerely *felt* this — how would that change how confident and comfortable we were in ourselves?
If we could trust that even if our caregiver set a boundary with us, they had our best interests at heart and were punishing the behaviour rather than ‘us’ — how would that shape our perception of ourselves and our place in the world?
If we felt that we had the freedom to ask for help without being ridiculed, wear ‘silly’ outfits without judgement and play and explore knowing that our place in the world was secure — how would that change the way in which we approach life, work and relationships now?
If we had learned that we were, and could be, accepted in and for all our ‘quirks’, flaws and idiosyncrasies; that we didn’t have to be a certain way to be loved; that we were and are enough as we are — what would we be like?
As individuals.
As a society.
Adulthood, it seems to me, may just be a journey of unlearning and re-processing everything we thought and believed to be true — if we accept the challenge, at least.
And it is challenging.
So, in this post, what I want to share and put across is that I see and accept you for all you are. Old, young, or somewhere in between; whatever race, creed, gender or sexual orientation. I can’t change you, and I don’t want to. You are beautiful as you are.
If you’re not ready, if you’re not in a place to engage, that’s okay too. This is a deeply personal journey, and we can only work from the resources that we have.
Life, it seems to me, is a journey of developing a greater level of awareness and compassion for ourselves and others. It is the process of learning how to take care of ourselves and be our own parents, lovers and best friends that will allow us to forgive past wrongs and make peace with what is. And it is this, in turn, that will let us move on and experience true freedom.
We don’t have to blindly relive the past in the present. But we do have to have patience.
The present is the present: a true gift.
What are you doing to be here for yourself right now?
#inthetrencheswithyou