A Story a Day: Day 4

Old but new — because it’s not just beauty that’s in the eye of the beholder.

Old but new — because it’s not just beauty that’s in the eye of the beholder.

Eat your heart out.

A man walks into a bar and says, Why am I here?

He sounds pissed but he’s not pissed, and he’s not come to get pissed either, or else he’d know why he was there.

A woman walks into a bar and says, What’s wrong with me?

Sometimes nothing can be wrong for everything to be wrong.

I shouldn’t be here, she says, taking a seat.

Have a drink, he says obligingly.

I don’t want to be here, she says, sipping quietly, waiting for him to walk away.

I’m not sure why I’m here, he says reluctantly. It’s bad manners to upstage the bride, and existential crises have a certain joie de vivre.

I need a drink, he says. He’s in the right place.

I need a man, she says hopefully.

There’s nothing wrong with you, he says, attempting to edge away furtively.

Her eyes grow wide — half-hope, half-fear, interspersed with desperation. Full lips, blue veins, stiff drink. Knocked up to be knocked back, and feel the burn set in.

“No pain…