Adventures of a Spiritual Warrior: My Poetic Soul

a poem a day: day five

Rachel Clifton — Mon, 01 Sep 2025 17:20:45 GMT

this poem is
untitled

a world between worlds
a tidal wave
a storm

the imagery is
disgruntled

she seeks not to be understood, but be felt

I have often experienced myself as being
better-expressed in words than
anything else can do justice to

it’s as if I have an urge to
make elaborate shapes with my body
not to test its edges but explore its most natural remit
and share it

with innocence

I love my rage, my heart, my soul, my fire
my presence, my grace

I love my art, and the way I share it
here

I love these poems that stretch the bounds of
language & rhythm & flow in
ways that just feel good for me

I love making the most of my
[lack of] English degree

I love perverting the course of
expectation

I love embodying
provocation

I love sinking into the depths of my own dissonance
and finding harmony there

god, there is so much beauty here

God, you are so good to me

photographer: me :)

she loves me, she loves me not

except she loves me, and I love her too

and let’s take out
the clean-cut predictability of she

let’s make this beautiful & messy & complete

let’s make this
a symphony & cacophony
at the same time

let’s make this

mine, and also yours

I love you always forever

over & out

a poem a day: day four

Rachel Clifton — Thu, 07 Aug 2025 17:02:53 GMT

time blurs

cacophony

I write for who I was
and who I will be

I bridge the gap
with soft eyes, and a warm heart

I don’t recognise
the ones I used to love

it’s desolate

to change
to walk away
to be in the wilderness

and it’s also
a reclamation

space, time, energy
to breathe

I want to melt into the cracks between the floorboards

I want to surrender to
an imaginary
dream

this is the world between worlds

this is my heart
on a string

two questions:

1. what is your heart saying?
2. what world are you in?

a poem a day: day three

Rachel Clifton — Tue, 05 Aug 2025 16:37:22 GMT

I think there is a way to honour the other
that allows us both to thrive
and this is what I seek to share with the world
however imperfectly

every ending is
an invitation, an invocation, a new beginning
and a little death, all at once

I’ve long been fascinated with
the idea of having
an orgasmic death— not just
with what it would entail, but
what it would require

and the way it would stretch

me into a new state of consciousness

I like playing with
fonts, styles, flow
here

I like breaking rules and
being the change I want to see and
most of all
being changeable

I like forgetting about being good
I like believing I am good just by being myself
I like being okay with being bad
I like expanding my self-concept

it is…

holy

it is…

comforting

it is…

free

and in every moment, you/I/we are free
to choose

and I never want to forget

this simple bliss
this sacred power
this profound responsibility

amidst the cacophony overhead

I never want to lose my head
or my senses

I just want to love

I just want to love
I just want to love

life as love, death as love, and life as death

Photo by Efe Kurnaz on Unsplash

I want you
I love you

I love apologising to you

I love the humility

there is a beauty to
dissolving before you

there is a beauty to
embodying chaotic wretched humanity

there is a beauty to
loving myself in my wretchedness

there is a beauty to
all things

and my poetry is
circular art, for me
I like to

imagine what it might be like
just to exist

we could have our own little world
and maybe we’d be happy there

this is the place for paid subscribers only

and so, I’m writing just for you

there’s an intimacy to it
a deepening of it

presence, grace

to witness & be witnessed
to love & be loved
to know & be known

I feel loved by you all in a very special way

you’re here because you like… my words

you’re here because
you want to hear
my voice

you’re here because
you value

my voice

that’s precious to me

and maybe every paywalled poem
will just be a love letter to you

but/and, I want you to know: you’re special to me

thank you for seeing & celebrating
the beauty of my soul

and please, don’t be a stranger

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a poem a day: day two

Rachel Clifton — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 15:38:59 GMT

days do not have to be
consecutive

there is no pressure
to speak

your words matter
and they matter more when
you really feel them

you are beautiful
in the essence of
your being

your fragments can be
felt

your wholeness is
known

I love you as
you are

I want you to
feel held

this is my prayer for us all

church

I like the way you move when you’re
unsure of yourself

I like the way
your writing gives me
insights into
your mind, your tongue
the unfurling of
this page

I like the way you make
everything into
something of your own
not because you’re trying to
but because you belong
to yourself

I like the way you take me places
sitting in front of a screen

I like the way you move me
titillate me
annihilate me
and leave me
dying
silently

by the roadside

in ecstasy

I like the way you
mindfuck me

I like the way you
refuse to abandon me

I respect you
more than
you know

xoxo

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a poem a day: day one

Rachel Clifton — Sat, 26 Jul 2025 16:20:17 GMT

sex
magic
I see
stars in your eyes

I feel
my heart in my chest
and it feels
sublime

I like
words
and the ways they
play

I like stories
and the way we
make
art out of them

always

and I love you more than I imagined I could
and I love you more than I imagined I would

and love always, always, always
lights the way

home

stars

I’m experimenting with
new ways of writing, being, seeing

I’m always
experimenting, always
on my knees

and it’s gruelling & alive & electrifying
and I wouldn’t have it any other way

boom

this is my poetic soul. how are you?

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on longing

Rachel Clifton — Mon, 21 Jul 2025 13:46:16 GMT

when I fully own my longing, I dissolve into the ether
defenceless & resplendent at the same time
a siren call to the divine
and beauty— abundant beauty

when I admit that I want you, I allow myself to want me too
and what a gift that is
to be wanted, and to self-source that nourishment
as my own, full-circle, completing the circuit
receptive & regenerative
at the same time

my poetry is & has always been
a place where I come alive
a place where I can come alive
a place where I have the power to— for me

a place where I know (discover) my power
a place where I feel like (discover) me

I want you, and I don’t need you
and I want you
I really, really, really want you

and it sets me free

lagoon

I didn’t let myself want you before
and in doing so, I didn’t let myself love you— not fully
I couldn’t see it, and I was always holding back
because I associated love with the loss of me, unconsciously

I thought I couldn’t love you without losing me, and I was right
but now I can, and now I do

I do, I do, I do

thank you

god is so fucking good
and so is [my] life

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savouring the good things

Rachel Clifton — Fri, 09 May 2025 16:28:53 GMT

with you,
I savour every victory
nothing is too small to be celebrated
everything is precious
because I know the pain of everything falling to pieces
and I’d rather not live there anymore

it’s not delusion, it’s
holding the good as if it’s a priceless treasure
and not pushing for anything else

it’s making something beautiful out of what was once just pain
it’s refusing to live a life where everything hurts

brilliant skies

with you,
I make every four-word affirmative text
into something beautiful & worthy of poetry
because I want to; because it’s how I can hold onto the good with you
when everything else just hurts

with you,
I let myself cry about stupid things
I don’t attempt to confide in you because you’re not [t]here for me
I go all-in on me instead

all the pain, all the desire, all the grief
I let it all wash over me
I let it cleanse me
I let it set me free

nothing is off-limits here, at least with me— you trained me well
I trained me well; “I’m good at my job”; I’m good at coming into alignment & dignity
and I’m not sure what the difference is anymore

evocative
invocation
peace

I’m sad beyond words about how things ended up between us
and I’m not going to fight for something the other person doesn’t fight for too
I’m not going to care in a way that leaves me broken, desperate, wanting, hurting

you taught me that too

—

it was our anniversary a few days ago, so I sent you a text wishing you joy

you saw it & didn’t reply, so I followed up a few hours later to clarify that the joy was for today, not in relation to our relationship

and it was the loneliest thing I ever did
but I don’t regret it

if you don’t feel joyful about our relationship, that’s okay with me too

—

sometimes, our relationship feels like a grotesque humiliation exercise

how much pain can I bear? how over-exposed can I be?
how stupid can I look—in public & everywhere else?
how much can I see all of this & still stay with me?

I’m still learning what my answers to these questions are & mean
it’s been a useful exercise-cum-initiation

—

what’s the truth here?

I don’t believe you care for me
because you don’t show it to me consistently in actions I can feel
and I’m not going to make excuses for you

I know you well enough to know that if you wanted to, you would
and I respect you enough to see that if you wanted to, you could

and I’m okay with being unwanted by you

I’m not going to pretend that it doesn’t hurt
and I can hold it for myself

I’m solid like that, if not “strong”

—

something that’s important to me, that’s always been important to me
is not pretending that you don’t matter to me
and not pretending that you—or our relationship—mattered to me less than it did

I’m not going to lie to myself to protect my heart when my heart is already broken
that ship has sailed; I choose truth

and I choose truth without judgement of you
I’m doing this for me

—

another truth that’s obviously true is that I miss you
another truth that’s obviously true is that I can’t be the one to lead our relationship anymore

it doesn’t work for me, and it debases you

I need something that can’t be reduced to me manipulating you
I need something that can’t be thrown back in my face

—

I’ve thought about sending you this post after I publish it, but I don’t want to do that either

I don’t want to give you any more of me than I’ve already given

I’m done; this isn’t for you anymore
it’s for me; I’m writing for me

I trust that the waters between us will find their level
and you will do what you want & need to do on your own

—

I’m sharing this with people I love before I publish it

people who are there for me, people who care for me, people whose love & care I never have to doubt

and it feels right, it feels true, it feels resonant

I don’t regret getting entangled with you
and, I’m choosing me now

—

I don’t know where we go from here
and maybe I don’t need to

maybe this is just a long road to nowhere

and if it is, god bless you

happy friday, lovers

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ripples

Rachel Clifton — Sat, 15 Feb 2025 18:52:39 GMT

to love is to hold is to cherish

and so, we rise
and so, we thrive
and so, we open

and perhaps this is the order of operations we always wanted
and perhaps this is the order of operations we always needed

how good it feels to dissolve self consciousness, and how great it feels to ride the ripples of these waves, and how beautiful it is to be a living prayer for kindness, tenderness & beauty in form

together

and how touching it is to know & yet not-know it all

I write this tired & open, in the best way possible. my eyes weary, my heart soft. my heart happy & sad all at once. my spirit resolute. the joy of the journey indescribable

I’ve wanted to write here more, but it hasn’t been quite the right time or place

so, here I am
and here, you find me
quietly engulfed

rising, falling, being, dissolving
lifting, opening, surrendering, becoming

all in one breath

I love you, I love you, I’m here

and that’s enough

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